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ushat3

Raven really loves this silly hat, even if it isn’t October

Hello everyone, it is really surprising to see that you all enjoyed Kitsune’s post so much. As she mentioned in her introduction my name is Nami, I am one of the main alters within our system and typically the one who is most emotionally invested in things. I tend to be described by others as a quiet listener, and often am mistaken as the singular host, because of my more polite and gentle personality and that I am often most likely to work with others who we don’t disclose to. As an empath I care very much for my friends and my system, while still trying and hopefully not failing to be a fun person. It can sometimes be a real drain and struggle for me to keep track of things, while at the same time dealing with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I also often struggle with body dysphoria issues and lack of healthcare services to get the help I need, and am in many cases I am not treated with the same respected and loved as cisgender able-minded people are. These struggles make it a challenge for me to be able to go see my friends, because I often am lacking transportation or energy due to depression, and I often struggle with the feeling that I am not good enough person or fun enough as result. Most often though my problems center around the worry I have that many of my friends don’t really want to see me, and that many people I know have been turned off to me or the others. I do my best to love and support those around me and who share the body, and to get over these feelings. I am really glad I have others to help with some of these struggles as well, which has made me feel less alone =^>^= (our happy emoji modelled after a fox)

I think a lot of our more recent struggles are also linked right now to a desire find work, but the lack of opportunities that have been provided to us. Despite having a masters degree in Library and Information Science from UCLA and being very active in community activism and volunteer work, we have largely denied opportunities due to job based discrimination, a lack of interest in openly disabled and younger people by workplace, and the narrow fields we have looking into. It has been a challenge to even finding part time job within libraries, archives, grant writing, or doing transgender, LGBTQIA, or disability based community work and activism. Not having a job has put a lot of pressure on my ability to have essential money, get places, or spend time with friends (doing activities can be costly). The worst issues I have had though is the feeling of purposelessness not working has caused and the lack of medical coverage I need.

Despite the many conflicts we as a system face from not having a job, discrimination, and our disabilities I really do want to do my best so that I can to make the world a better place, and as well as to support my friends the best I can. I am very much invested in working within community spaces on social justice projects even without pay, and have tried to dedicate my life to helping others in need. Often I am told especially by Kitsune that I am wasting or mismanaging my time on large mostly unpaid projects and the needs of others, and that I should be more concerned with self care, making friends, and taking time of pursue other things while we have the time. It has been a real struggle though not to place my personal value on the work I do, it feels like I am not accomplishing anything when I am not doing any sort of work and that I should be putting others with similar or greater struggles first. I really feel that community is vitally important to me as a person, and I don’t really share Kitsune’s distrust in others or Raven intense need for personal space, though sometimes I feel that both might have a point when it comes to my need to take care of myself better.

Lately because of all the free time I have I’ve been seeking meaning, and reflecting a lot on what sort of interests I have as a person. I have in the last year really tried as much as I can to make myself and my needs a priority. While I still desperately want a relationship, with the help with the others I have really develop a desire to have a higher standard when it comes to romantic relationships, rather then just accepting almost anyone identifying as a woman who would ask (thus far only other transgender women and cisgender men have asked  😦 ((I’d also like cisgender women to ask sometime)). While I am trying to be flexible, it has been important to me to seek out a partner who has similar interests, and who will love me for who I am and respect my system and flaws, rather then relying on a specific trait such as sexually to form a relationship (hence why we are mostly all asexual). It has become more important and empowering to me and our system to wait, rather then having a relationship for the sake of feeling we that we need one to be worthwhile and has overall helped some with my low self confidence.

To move on to more positive and relaxed questions, thoughts, and comments; as Kitsune said before I adore foxes. They are amazing animals, and their personality traits tend to match ups with many of my traits (or at least I hope they do). I see myself and foxes as often shy, clever, unique, cute, and a bit clumsy. As a means of change I have also really gotten into Wicca lately, and exploring the gods and goddesses, spells and herbs along with the rest of the system. We tend to take notes and Raven loves to make plans for some very interesting projects such as collecting rose petals or wanting to make and decorate wind chimes. Along with tea I also really enjoy cooking, and have been getting into making more things lately particularly curries and spicy food. I also adore Japanese snacks, with my favourites currently being the large round rice crackers, but I also adore other Japanese dishes such vegetarian sushi, mori soba, ramen, miso soup and mochi. I’ve also been doing my best to study Japanese language lately. Our first and still favourite game system is our Sega genesis model one with a headphone port, though we don’t really play video games often. In addition to anime we love all sorts of cartoons and puppet shows growing up on them including Looney Tones, Powerpuff girls, Dexter’s lab, Teen Titans, Batman the animated series, Samurai Jack, Sesame Street and the Muppets, Wallace and Gromit, Adventure Time, Avatar and the Legend of Korra, and most recently Steven’s Universe. Our father is a professor of English whose research and teaching focuses upon comic books and children’s literature, and my mother is transitional councillor for disabled and neurodiverse students at Los Angeles Unified school district. Five anime works I love and would recommend are Princess Mononoke, Metropolis, Cowboy Bebop, Wolf’s Rain, and Haibane Renmei. As with Kitsune please feel free to leave comments or questions for me.

Until next time keep it weird and blessed be,

Nami